#100366  我受够了
HANDLE: Ending Diary DATE: 2023年2月18日 22時7分
周边的一切都使我心力交瘁,对自己而言,已经受够了。所有的过程都指向一个错误的结果,兴许我还没有死,但我已经疯掉了,使我疲惫不堪。我不知道我有没有什么之类的精神性疾病,我感到害怕,我不敢去检查,我害怕这会丧失掉我所有对生的希望。都是我的错误,我的内耗已经无可救药,为了去维持一个不得不维持的关系,讨好一个感到心动的女生,做着一份不得不去执行的工作。那些希望也慢慢的磨去,我的兴趣也逐渐丧失,没有人会替我发声。我真的受够了,真的受够了。
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#100365  horrible person
HANDLE: raito DATE: 2023年2月17日 12時7分
i consider myself a horrible person, horrible people taught me to be horrible. I inevitably pick up the worst traits from all people I find despicable. I repeated the acts they did to me on other people. Maybe if I weren't a horrible human being I wouldn't distrust the people close to me so much and I would believe in them more easily, but I always feel that they are doing the bad things to me that I've already done, it's bad that I'm afraid that they'll do the same to me what have i done? obviously there is but I don't know what to do. I'm afraid they'll do to me what I've done in the past. i wish i was normal, i wish i didnt have meet the people that destroied me, i would be such a good person.
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#100364  体力が弱っていると考えること
HANDLE: うめ DATE: 2023年2月16日 20時19分
今体調を崩している。体調を崩すと良くないことを考える。
僕は、あることがきっかけでテレビなどに攻撃されているという被害妄想を抱くようになった。
あることとは20年近く前、このBBSが出来たころ、突然、昔詐欺まがいのけんかをして別れたある男の名前と同名の名前の書き込みがあり、それを観て、何を思ったか自分も名前を出して書き込みをしてしまったことだ。
すべてはありもしないような勘違いが原因なのかもしれない。その書き込みに前後して、テレビなどで自分のことを言っている、と勘違いするようになった。そこからはテレビとネットなどのいたちごっこになり、現在に至っている。
そもそも書き込むからいけないのかもと思うが、不満は沸々とわいてきて、我慢が出来ない。
今体調が悪いので、少し発言などを控えて、気持ちを整理しようと思う。自分勝手のような書き込みすみません。人に弱みを見せるのは歓迎されないかも知れませんね。
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#100363  Re: 寄生虫
HANDLE: Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier DATE: 2023年2月15日 12時22分
我也是上学的时候在家里。我脑子很混沌,甚至想不起来这半年发生了什么,只记得从天上到了地下,然后断断续续吃了几个月的药。
好像自己的感情能力不断的坍缩,坍缩成了一个酘疯狂地吞噬周围的爱和性。
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#100361  Re: 寄生虫
HANDLE: raito DATE: 2023年2月12日 10時11分
im gonna buy the book, it sounded interesting to me, also i love kafka but i dont know if the book its about him, im gonna buy anyway. I don't know Japanese, so I took your name from the site (寄生虫), and put it in the translator, the moment I saw that it means parasite it gave me a deep pain in my chest and a huge urge to cry, I'm really sorry for you. I hope that in the future your relationship with your mother will improve.
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#100360  Re: 寄生虫
HANDLE: raito DATE: 2023年2月12日 10時7分
hearing your own mother call you a parasite must be so hard... right at the moment we need more guidance, help, peace of mind and support... I hope you didn't feel too much about this offense, but not suffering from something of that level should be difficult, I would go days without tranquility and often blaming myself for not being useful enough, you are strong friend. I'm from Brazil, here we have a national exam called ENEM, it decides which college you can attend with your grade, we have 4 years to prepare and everyone here sees this test as one of the most important things in someone's life, this year I'm going to have to do the ENEM, I'm a little nervous.
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#100359  re raito
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月11日 14時21分
That movie shocked me so much that I think my favorite movie in my life is this one
thank u message,i very very make me surprise,i dont know why my translator won t work...i got some problems need to fix
Recently,there was a sensational news in China,A 15year old boy committed suicide
because of academic pressure which surprised everyone,but no one, care about the boy s heart
We lost,All lost,i m about to take a large
scale exam and many students already feel that their pressure has swept through
do u know what mean in Chinses"寄生虫"?it means Prasite
My mother called me a parasite in an argument with me
all thoses people stubborn and stupid,even teachers too
by the way,Where u from?
when u have time, i recommend a book called 《kafka by the sea》by Murakami haruki


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#100358  世界の話
HANDLE: ラッカ DATE: 2023年2月11日 2時22分
この美しい世界
守らなきゃ。これから自分の世界も変わるから。。。 みんな応援して、リリィも
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#100357  Re: Huddleformation
HANDLE: raito DATE: 2023年2月11日 1時1分
I've seen movies that portray a bit of the pressure that the Chinese have with the academic world, where I live we also have difficult exams that decide our future, a lot of competition etc but nothing compares what I've seen some of you go through, I'm sorry you have to deal with this buddy, try to take it easy, at your own pace and I'm sure you'll soon find your rhythm and your encouragement to study and pass your goals. academic life is difficult but one of the biggest problems is our own mind, we have to take it easy. and i also feel that this site is very comfortable, i come here to read all the time I get happy when there are new messages on the site

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#100356  Huddleformation
HANDLE: Huddleformation DATE: 2023年2月10日 18時36分
I'm not preparing anything because I'm lethargic even though I have a very important test ahead in August... I feel like I'm losing my mind. I know I have to do something, but I haven't done it at all, but I recently saw Lilishu Shu and I found out about this site. There are still a lot of people on this site… I think it's a comforting space.
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#100355  to Rage
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月10日 14時33分
I am a junior high school third-year student, in China, my area, high school is not available to everyone, need exams to pass less than 50% of people, Chinese, pressure, I don't want to spend time on mathematics and other subjects, every day after class I am reading books, doing what those peers will not want to do, the pressure of competition is great, maybe I can't go to college, everyone is just material people who can't be in material
I love literature, philosophy, film and other arts,But I couldn't even go to high school
fuck
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#100354  Re: raito
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月10日 14時25分
rage wrote:
> I wonder what to do with mi life, I'm 18y and I can't figure out yet what to do, I'm thinking of becoming an philosophy teacher, maybe it's too hard to deal with teaching people, I don't know if I would handle it, i wish there was something that I was born to do, and someone say to me what is this, something that makes me happy to work with, or at least don't make me wanna kms

to be or not be


philosophy,that s good,we need to be ourself,if u wanna,do it
i also want to be a teacher,but i cant,i cant even go to hight school,in China,i m a loser,

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#100353  to Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月10日 14時21分
如果你愿意 可以和我说说你的故事么,听着好奇怪,但是其实我十分迷茫
有很多东西的期盼是十分重要的 生活需要某些事物调和 期盼便是如此的事物
实不相瞒,其实我并不觉得我有资格说出这些话,明明是上学的日子我却还在家里,一周又这样过去了,许多本该紧凑的事物被我抛弃了
时间真快,难以言喻
为什么失去了爱的能力呢?

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#100352  raito
HANDLE: rage DATE: 2023年2月10日 6時46分
I wonder what to do with mi life, I'm 18y and I can't figure out yet what to do, I'm thinking of becoming an philosophy teacher, maybe it's too hard to deal with teaching people, I don't know if I would handle it, i wish there was something that I was born to do, and someone say to me what is this, something that makes me happy to work with, or at least don't make me wanna kms
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#100351  Re: to Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier agian
HANDLE: Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier DATE: 2023年2月10日 1時6分
我理解你的意思,但是很多时候我们一味的追寻自由但不可得,而当真正走到了自由的路上却已经耗费尽了力气。我对明天会发生什么当然是有所期盼的,我对爱仍是抱着一丝期望的,虽然我已经失去了爱的能力。谢谢你肯阅读我的留言。



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#100350  raito
HANDLE: rage DATE: 2023年2月9日 9時32分
i miss someone that was like the ether to me, no one, nothing ever make me so happy, nothing in this world could make me happier than this person, but why? ? ? ? why this person didnt see me like this? ? why make me the most happy person alive, why make me fully enjoy my life just to leave me? why ? why it needed to be like this? im not supposed to be hapy? im not supposed to be loved? all i wanted is to be trully loved, and this person could do this forever.. but why stop? i should be grateful for the time we spent together instead to be sad because it ended but i cant. I cant stop thinking about this person, dreaming about this person, i just want to be loved by this person again.

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#100349  raito
HANDLE: raito DATE: 2023年2月9日 9時25分
i miss someone


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#100348  to Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier agian
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月9日 1時7分
为何不去相信明天 后天 未来?貌似站着说话不腰疼,但是爱是充满未知的 就如同风,如同现在我在读着你的留言一样 你可能在这个世界任意一个角落 但是我遇见了你 说了如此的话
尝试爱,尝试去爱,世界形形色色的人 哪位会成为深深拥抱你的那位呢
《air》的最后 我们究竟是放弃飞翔沉浸在无限的悲伤呢
还是相信爱,相信某些事物,大胆的飞翔?
办得到的
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#100347  Re: to Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier
HANDLE: Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier DATE: 2023年2月8日 21時44分
我曾经想要让爱成为我的翅膀,但是办不到

寄生虫 wrote:
> 日本人?中国人?it dosen t matter
> 我们真的可以自由的飞翔么,在这个充满焦虑的时代,我们该以爱治愈,而无法用自由而飞翔
>


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#100346  Marguerite Cinderella Aya Gautier
HANDLE: 寄生虫 DATE: 2023年2月8日 21時0分
灰姑娘?
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